Worth

It's been a tumultuous six months.  So much has happened and I can say that the lessons I've learned have very much deepened me and afforded me the opportunities to learn about the different facets of myself.  I have blossomed in ways I wasn't sure I was capable of anymore.

Basking in the glow of my own light I began offering energetic healing sessions.  I often found myself drawn to people on Facebook that were quietly suffering or struggling and I would privately message them to extend any help that I could.  Some needed food, some clothing, some energy work.  Any way I could find to help, I did.  And I made it a point to not speak of it publicly because they were my own sweet moments... just for ME to enjoy, to know I had helped to spark the light within others so that they in turn could ignite even more.  It was very satisfying.

But months later, I was beginning to notice things that were unsavory to say the least.  I was quickly becoming a spiritual dumping ground and my worth seemed to be in decline.  I didn't quite know how to address it.  I did, however know, I wanted to continue helping people quietly. I figured I'd be more selective and careful not to overextend myself.  I realize now I was, and am still, learning how to value myself.

Recently, I learned in one big lesson the value of me.  I am a rare type of person.  I am loyal to a fault and the kind of friend who is available any time you need for any reason at all.  I am the kind of friend that could be a lifelong one if valued and treated with a mutual level of respect.  I bring so much to any relationship whether it be romantic or friendship... I offer so much of myself without seeking so much as acknowledgement.  I hold myself to a standard that some might say is unrealistic.  I carry my person with honor and dignity in everything I do.  I am so ridiculously transparent.  I tell no lies. If you ask me directly, I will answer you because I would rather you be mad at me for telling you a truth rather than be mad AND feel betrayed because I lied.

So when one who has known me for an extended period would even question if I would harm another either in actions or words it creates a tsunami of emotions within.  When those emotions crest, you must take stock during the lowest point of the trough, before the water hits the shore.  You have to look within, at the base or root of it, and identify where the hurt comes from.  Is it ego driven?  Are you being prideful?  When you can answer those with a truthful "no" then you have to look further by exploring the actions of the outside.

What I learned from this lesson is that when you are able to identify that there is hurt within caused by the words or actions of others, well, maybe that friendship is one of convenience or that there is a lack of a certain minimal level of respect or perceived value.  Is that all you are worth?  A friend when there is need?  Are you not worth more?  Do you not bring more to the relationship than that?  WE  are the ones who set our value.  WE have to be the one to decide how much we can or will tolerate and if that amount equates to what we perceive our worth to be.

I am made of love.  I act in love.  I love through both my actions and my words.  I set my worth equal to that which I offer you... and I offer you all of me.  When you can honestly even wonder if I would choose hurtful actions with zero provocation... you diminish my worth and you prove to me through your own actions that I am not valued.  It then does not become an issue of emotion but rather a misalignment of perceived worth and the value set by you.  It is important to honor ourselves through the expectation of mutual respect.  It keeps others accountable for the situations they create and the repercussions of poorly thought out life choices.

I am a rightful heir to Creation's beauty just as any other sentient being.  I reclaim my sovereignty and have the expectation that others will treat me with the respect rightfully given to a spiritual sovereign.  Maybe if more of us remember this universal truth for ourselves, we can begin reversing the degradation of society in general.  There are far too many subliminal programmings being done to further decay the mind, the body, and the spirit.  The current system of operation has become defunct, parasitic, and malignant.  Lives have become worthless and respect a novelty.  How do we undo that which has been done?  By raising the value of the self back to its rightful place.  Everything else will begin to trickle until it becomes a vast ocean of sacred waters.  Remember your worth.  Even if you don't, I will remember it and treat you accordingly.

Life is beautiful and so are you.